by Cathy and Patti
We both have daughters of the Technology Age. You know: the kids who know their way around a computer better than a playground; the ones who play tennis on a screen instead of on a court; the ones who have play dates that consist of texting one another as they sit side by side.
Call us grandmas, but this bugs us. Whatever happened to human interaction? Whatever happened to summers of skinned knees and winters of board games?
We have each contended with Technology Tantrums and Digital Doozies in our households, and frankly? We have had enough.
.........
Cathy:
I never wanted to become that family on Oprah that had every technological device removed from their house because they weren't communicating with one another. That got me so freaked, I've hunted for any scent of us going down that path ever since. When I see my kids on their DS or their iPod longer than a half hour, I demand they turn it off and find something else to do. When I notice that my husband and I are perched in front of the television too long, we make an effort to turn it off and do something with the kids.
Bella happened upon my neighbor's Wi-Fi password while she was over their house one day over the summer - my nieghbor had no idea of the consequence of giving her the password since his daughter is younger, and to his credit, has apologized for overstepping boundaries and offered to change it. I decided against that, hoping instead, to use this opportunity to teach her the life lesson of "everything in moderation." Since then, she has been watching old Disney show reruns incessantly on her iPod; so much so, that she's plugged into her iPod when she's using the bathroom and even while brushing her teeth.
Last week, I had a Tech Snap. I asked her to shut it down and hand it over to me one night while she was laying in bed and it was almost 11pm, she repeatedly, defiantly said NO while begging to finish watching her show. This wasn't the first time she did this, but it was certainly going to be the last. I yanked it away from her as my screams wafted up through the open windows for all of my neighbors to hear what a psycho snapper I can be. No iPod for three days.
Eventually, in calm mode, she and I sat down to discuss this. I told her it made me sad when she comes home from school and plugs into that iPod and I can't ask her about her day. Or when she would rather be on that thing than cuddle with me at bedtime. She had no idea how it was affecting us. Then she got sad about it. She understood.
So I made a house proclamation: Going forward, for one hour before bedtime, no DS, iPods or computers. That goes for me and Joe as well. And every Sunday will be our designated family game night. Everything in moderation. Slowly, but surely, we'll reconnect by disconnecting.
Patti:
S is an only child, so she doesn't have a sibling to turn to when she's in the mood for some Chutes and Ladders or Monopoly. She doesn't have anybody to play "school" with, or a rousing game of Twister. Instead, she has her Papi and me, and a very uninterested hamster, who let's face it, has really short legs (and arms?) and would not do well in a game of Twister. I always end up the "kindergartener" in her "classroom", and her Papi has played and (over)played Jenga. I'll admit: We, the parents, get lazy, and fun pickins get slim. So she has turned to her BFF, the laptop.That kid knows her way around a laptop better than Steve Jobs (may he rest in peace). In fact, her dream is to work for Apple one day (when she is done touring as a ballerina and competing in Wimbeldon, that is).
S can surf the 'net on her BFF for hours on end, if we let her. She will even take it to the bathroom with her to Skype her cousins, or research bras (because she is impatiently awaiting the day she can have one), or make Christmas lists, or listen to Selena Gomez on YouTube. And I'm all, "Can't you just poop in PEACE?".
But then I remember, this is coming from the woman who takes her Android into the bathroom with her to catch up on celebrity gossip and send emails to friends. Seems I can't poop in peace, either.
And M? Loves him some Craiglist. He can spend hours browsing at cars he will never buy on Craigslist. If he's not on the computer, he will sit in the bathroom with his own beloved Android and plug himself into Pandora while he poops or pees, but not in peace.
So are we wrong to insist S unplug herself when we can't even unplug ourselves to, uh, unplug ourselves?
And it's not just in our household that I am finding connections being severed. I do my best to plan lots of play dates for S, and she has lots of good friends to hang out with, but I have noticed more and more that these "play dates" have no "play" in them. Instead, she and a friend will sit in front of the computer and watch YouTube videos together, or "picto chat" on their DS's, or text each other while they are both sitting on the same couch.
So I have decided: We will instill a Poop in Peace Policy in our household, AND a Friends Without Electronics Policy. I am hoping the new PIP and FWE policies will bring back some good ol' fashioned quality of life into our lives.
Ready? Set? UNPLUG!
.......
We love technology; we just don't love what it seems to have done to the human connections in our families and friendships. While we would never want to go all the way back to the days of being totally unplugged, we do want to honor the real live wires of our existence - the human ones that matter most.
Bella happened upon my neighbor's Wi-Fi password while she was over their house one day over the summer - my nieghbor had no idea of the consequence of giving her the password since his daughter is younger, and to his credit, has apologized for overstepping boundaries and offered to change it. I decided against that, hoping instead, to use this opportunity to teach her the life lesson of "everything in moderation." Since then, she has been watching old Disney show reruns incessantly on her iPod; so much so, that she's plugged into her iPod when she's using the bathroom and even while brushing her teeth.
Last week, I had a Tech Snap. I asked her to shut it down and hand it over to me one night while she was laying in bed and it was almost 11pm, she repeatedly, defiantly said NO while begging to finish watching her show. This wasn't the first time she did this, but it was certainly going to be the last. I yanked it away from her as my screams wafted up through the open windows for all of my neighbors to hear what a psycho snapper I can be. No iPod for three days.
Eventually, in calm mode, she and I sat down to discuss this. I told her it made me sad when she comes home from school and plugs into that iPod and I can't ask her about her day. Or when she would rather be on that thing than cuddle with me at bedtime. She had no idea how it was affecting us. Then she got sad about it. She understood.
So I made a house proclamation: Going forward, for one hour before bedtime, no DS, iPods or computers. That goes for me and Joe as well. And every Sunday will be our designated family game night. Everything in moderation. Slowly, but surely, we'll reconnect by disconnecting.
Patti:
S is an only child, so she doesn't have a sibling to turn to when she's in the mood for some Chutes and Ladders or Monopoly. She doesn't have anybody to play "school" with, or a rousing game of Twister. Instead, she has her Papi and me, and a very uninterested hamster, who let's face it, has really short legs (and arms?) and would not do well in a game of Twister. I always end up the "kindergartener" in her "classroom", and her Papi has played and (over)played Jenga. I'll admit: We, the parents, get lazy, and fun pickins get slim. So she has turned to her BFF, the laptop.That kid knows her way around a laptop better than Steve Jobs (may he rest in peace). In fact, her dream is to work for Apple one day (when she is done touring as a ballerina and competing in Wimbeldon, that is).
S can surf the 'net on her BFF for hours on end, if we let her. She will even take it to the bathroom with her to Skype her cousins, or research bras (because she is impatiently awaiting the day she can have one), or make Christmas lists, or listen to Selena Gomez on YouTube. And I'm all, "Can't you just poop in PEACE?".
But then I remember, this is coming from the woman who takes her Android into the bathroom with her to catch up on celebrity gossip and send emails to friends. Seems I can't poop in peace, either.
And M? Loves him some Craiglist. He can spend hours browsing at cars he will never buy on Craigslist. If he's not on the computer, he will sit in the bathroom with his own beloved Android and plug himself into Pandora while he poops or pees, but not in peace.
So are we wrong to insist S unplug herself when we can't even unplug ourselves to, uh, unplug ourselves?
And it's not just in our household that I am finding connections being severed. I do my best to plan lots of play dates for S, and she has lots of good friends to hang out with, but I have noticed more and more that these "play dates" have no "play" in them. Instead, she and a friend will sit in front of the computer and watch YouTube videos together, or "picto chat" on their DS's, or text each other while they are both sitting on the same couch.
So I have decided: We will instill a Poop in Peace Policy in our household, AND a Friends Without Electronics Policy. I am hoping the new PIP and FWE policies will bring back some good ol' fashioned quality of life into our lives.
Ready? Set? UNPLUG!
.......
We love technology; we just don't love what it seems to have done to the human connections in our families and friendships. While we would never want to go all the way back to the days of being totally unplugged, we do want to honor the real live wires of our existence - the human ones that matter most.
