Playing Devil's Advocate to Cathy's Bait and Switch

by Patti

Cathy’s post today about the ol’ “Bait and Switch” got me thinking: Are women the only usual victims of the Bait and Switch?

When M and I were first dating, would he have ever come to my door to find me in a saggy, ripped t-shirt, stained sweats, and a green mud mask on my face?

Would I have ever gone to his house with my hair throw haphazardly up into a messy bun, my zit lotion crusted onto my face?

Would he have stroked my legs only to find that they hadn’t seen a razor in 2 weeks?

No.

But that is what he often comes home to now.

Is he a victim of the Bait and Switch?

I heard a joke once where the groom is standing at the altar. As he sees his bride floating down the aisle, he smiles widely and leans into his best man and whispers, “I can’t believe how lucky I am! Now that I’m getting married, I’ll get a blow job every night!” Meanwhile, his bride, her eyes fixed dreamily on her future husband, thinks joyfully to herself, “Thank GOD I’ll never have to give a blow job ever again!”

Bait and Switch?

While Cathy makes some valid points about the vanishing act of romance after marriage and kids and bills and life’s stresses, I also wonder: Do both men and women get in to a dangerous comfort zone that leads to each partner feeling they’ve been duped?

She has made me think and want to examine my own acts of Bait and Switch. In fact, just this weekend I remarked to M how when we were first living together, he would often come home and search the house for me, calling my name. He simply couldn’t wait to see me. That’s because he knew that when he did, he would be met with excitement and a kiss. I wonder: when was the last time I met him at the door with simply a kiss and a hug, and not a barrage of requests and problems. I think this week one night, when I see him after a long day, I’ll pull a different kind of Bait and Switch. I will put on hold any complaints and will simply kiss him and be happy to see him.

Who knows where that will lead?