Hijacked

by Cathy

This past weekend we attended my daughter's volleyball playoffs. While crammed into uncomfortable bleachers in a humid, smelly school gym, I struck up a conversation with a fellow school dad.

"So, what are your grown up Halloween plans for this weekend?" he asked. "Got any?" 

I was a little baffled as to how to answer this, since I'm not used to being asked what my plans are. But out, the sad truth came a tumblin'. "Nothing," I replied flatly. "Just a bunch of Halloween festivities for the kids. Boring stuff."

He almost leapt out of his seat. "I know, riiiight?!" he said emphatically, venting what was obviously boiling beneath the surface for quite some time now. "We've become so BORING! Everything we ever do is for the kids and nothing for us." With a sweep of his hand through the air, he drove his point home. "Our kids have completely hijacked our lives."

And brotha, ain't that the truth.

We are so exhausted and overrun with all of the kids' activities, that we don't have the time nor the energy to plan something for ourselves. As a matter of fact, it's something that doesn't really enter our minds as an option. And when it does? It's always an afterthought for which a zillion reasons are found to prevent:

It's too cold
It's too far
It's too late
It's too expensive
I'm too tired
I'm already cozy and have a million shows DVR'd
I don't feel like getting dressed up
I'm too lazy
I have nothing to wear
I'm too old
I just want to hang out in my drawers
We just got our new Netflix movie
We can make popcorn!

But like with anything else, you have to make things happen - things like jobs, sex, memorable times, opportunities and friendships. These things are not going to just fall into your lap. Put all of your excuses on the back burner and just DO it. Haven't we all had a time when we forced ourselves to do something that we could potentially have a lot of fun doing, and afterward,  are glad we did it and wondered why it took us so long to decide to feel this happy?

We all know that if something fails to be part of a routine for a long time, it's very difficult to work it back in. The sad part is that often, the most fun activities are the first ones we tend to cut out because we are too stressed, too tired, too worried or feel too guilty to enjoy. We need to get back to the place we were before we got hijacked by kids, spouses, stress, responsibilities and life. We need to ask ourselves, "Who was I before _______? Where has that person gone? What did that person enjoy doing? Why has it changed? How can I find that person I was once?"

We need to take control of our lives and our schedules as best as we can before we get rerouted into a direction from which we can't return. Just because our kids' schedules (or what have you) have a tendency to hijack our lives - doesn't mean we should be held hostage to it.