I Need A Bathroom Break

Who couldn't use another good bathroom story this week, right? Especially since I can't escape them myself.

The other morning, I awoke to a tiny, loose-handed fist slamming right into my face. Wham! I was up. Ari had snuck into our bed in the middle of the night again. As I shuffled the covers to make my escape and go to the bathroom, Ari woke up. So I kept walking out of the room, because I knew what was coming if I didn't.

Ari loves to follow me to the bathroom and hang out while I go and wants me to to do the same with her while she goes. And to saddle me there until she finishes, she starts up the most mundane conversations like "What are you going to have for breakfast mommy? Do we have Cheerios? I don't think so. Maybe we can check when we're done here..." and on and on.

The pitter patter of little feet were already following me down the hallway as I hustled to make it into the bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind me just in the knick of time. Click, click, click, click, click. I watched the doorknob move left to right horror-movie style as I sat on the toilet. Joining that wonderful sound came the rattling of the door, back and forth within the door frame. Thump, thump, thump, thump, click, thump, click, click, thump. Lastly, piping into that wonderful cacophony, came my daughter's groggy, tiny voice, "Mommy! Open the door! I want to come in!"

All of you mothers out there have caught on by now that once you have kids, the bathroom does not remain merely as a place for showering and releiving yourself. Noooo. It becomes a place of solace, where instead of locking your kids in a room, you put yourself in time out and have a cup of coffee, make a phone call, follow up on emails, read a magazine or just sit down, breathe deeply and slowly count to 10.

After telling Ari that I'll be out in a minute, I heard nothing. 'She left,' I thought. One minute later, sitting half asleep reveling in the silence, I was startled by a loud whirrrrrrrrrring sound. I jerked fully awake and turned to see a chidlrens book slide clear across the bathroom floor from under the door, scaring me half to death. Still, I heard nothing except for the pounding in my chest. I chuckled it off, took my time, flushed the toilet and opened the door. There was Ari still clutching her pillow and 'Mo' the little stuffed lamb. "FINALLY!" she exclaimed seemingly exasperated. "I was laying down outside the door waiting for you and when I hear you flush, I said finally!"

She marched right past me into the bathroom, where she promptly sat down and started questioning me about the weather.

Gimme a break...please??

-Cathy