Midwestern Moda

by Cathy


Midwestern Moda.

This is quite the oxymoron, isn't it? If there's one thing Midwesterners aren't known for, it's being fashionable. In fact, GQ magazine recently rated Chicago as one of the worst dressed cities in the country.

On that note, let's explore perhaps why.

Last week I went to a downtown salon to get my hair did. (Perhaps it's because of the way we talk here?) The day was brisk and the weather report called for a high in the mid-60s. So I donned some cute harem-style pants I snagged in Europe last summer with my nude, cage-style strappy heels, a leather jacket and hit the town.

My stylist, Marissa, had the first chair next to the street-level window and provided a perfect spot for people watching. I saw people in summer garb with a heavy jacket thrown over, and others with down jackets complete with scarves, hats and gloves. Really, people? I concluded that they were tourists.

Marissa and I started chatting and she mentioned that she loved my shoes. Thanking her, I replied that I couldn't quite let go of my summer garb just yet, even though it was September. "I can always tell those that cling to summer," she said jokingly. "I on the other hand, have been wearing this since before Labor Day," pointing to her leggings and motorcycle boots. "I looooooove fall!" she gushed.

Being a Chicago native, born and raised, I am quite used to the fluctuations in temperature here. It can go from a high of 85 to a low of 40 in the same day, and usually does so during fall and spring. When one leaves the house in the morning, it can be a totally different season than they return home that night. So we need to be prepared for all types of weather conditions and temperature fluctuations.

As a result, I have seen some of the most ridiculous combinations of ensembles ever worn, right here in Chi-town. Down jackets with shorts and boots? Check. Down vests, shorts and socks with sandals? Check. Tank tops with scarves and velour sweatpants with flip-flops? Check. Capri pants with boots and a windbreaker? Check. Turtlenecks, short skirts with bare legs and sandals? Check. A winter coat over pajamas pants and flippers? Check. I've seen it all.

Another reason for the Cuckoo Clothes Concoctions may be storage issues. For example, you need 923 types of outwear: windbreaker, leather jacket, heavier fall jacket, light winter coat, heavy down winter coat, trench coat, jean jacket, light sweater for chilly summer nights, an in-between jacket for every season. This poses a huge storage problem for my family since there are four of us living in a one-floor condo in a six unit building, requiring all of that outerwear and much more. As such, I have to store our off-season clothes in plastic totes and shuffle them back and forth every spring and fall from our storage (four flights down) to our unit. Therefore, if I haven't gotten a chance to do the Totes Seasonal Switchout Shuffle by the time the seasons change, we are stuck looking like one of those ridiculously dressed people on the streets of Chicago; either hanging out in 70 degrees with our turtleneck sweaters or shivering our asses off in our short-sleeve polos, jean jackets and sandals.

So GQ, the next time you see us looking, well, all Midwestern and such, cut us some slack. We really don't know what season we are dressing for.