It's Just What Mothers Do

by Cathy

The other morning as we were shuffling around the house trying to make it to school on time, Bella was whispering her items checklist under her breath (softball bag, lunch, snacks) and then shot out an, "Ooooh! I need five dollars." She immediately made a beeline to the piggy bank in her room while Joe and I looked at each other quizzically.

"What do you need five dollars for, sweety?" I called after her while looking at Joe. I walked towards her room. "Are they having a bagel and juice sale at school again?"

"No, I'm gonna buy some jewelry," she stated matter-of-factly, like, duh, that was something she does at school all the time.

"Oh," I said. "Who's selling jewelry?"

"My friend Abbey," she said. "She makes these really cool bracelets and barrettes using bottle caps!"

"Oh, that's nice. Isn't that a little expensive for bottle caps?"

"Yeah, I know," she agreed back, "but they are so cute and cool so I'm gonna buy one."

She kept overturning her piggy bank full of change and tried to fish out her dollars while the clock was ticking closer to tardiness.

"Here I think I have a few dollars," I offered to speed things up. "Just take them." Turns out, I only did have a few dollars. I was two dollars short.

"Can't you just give Abbey the three dollars today and tell her you'll give her the other two tomorrow so I can get some change? The only other bill I have is a 10."

Bella didn't answer. I repeated it four times and clearly, her silence indicated that she didn't want to do that. She didn't feel honest doing that and didn't want to offend her friend in any way.

"I'm sure she'll be okay with it," offered Joe. But Bella wasn't content with that.

"Okay, here," I said, offering up the $10 bill. "But make sure you get change, okay? And if she doesn't have change, ask one of the teachers to break the $10. DON'T lose it!"

Apparently, that last part didn't sit well with Bella. "I'm NOT gonna lose it! Gosh! Why do you always say that when you give me something? You make me sound totally irresponsible!!"

Now I love my Bella, my little Mini Me. And because I know me, I know her. And whether she will admit it or not - heck, it took me forever to admit this for myself - she is a bit of a scatterbrain - JUST LIKE ME.

Did I accidentally mail $50 in an envelope once and made one mailman a really happy dude?
Yes.
Have I left my purse in several restaurants?
Yes.
Did I lose an envelope which contained a copy of my mother's drivers license which she Next Day shipped from Europe via DHL for a kajillion dollars so I can get her international driver's license processed and sent back?
Yes.

And by the way, I get this flightiness from my mother, who has left her keys in fitting rooms, forgotten bills and other important paperwork on top of her car as she's driven away and has lost countless pairs of gloves getting out of her car as they tumble out of her lap and onto the street.

Bella was lucky enough to have inherited this flighty flaw from my side of the family, so do I trust her 100% with not losing things? Heck to the no. But I did try to ease her anxiety about me being on her case about losing things. I didn't tell her that I say these things because she has the propensity to lose things like me. Instead, I told her it's because, "It's just what mothers do."

It's their job to say these things to their kids - not because they think they will lose stuff (ahem) but because this is the way they discipline their kids into becoming responsible adults, and even though she'll be MY age one day, I'll still say these things to her.  I also told her that my mother, still to this day, tells me the same thing when she hands me something.

Bella seemed more content when she heard that and I noticeably felt her relief as the burden shifted from her tiny shoulders. Because she knows, my mother knows and I know.
It's just what mothers do.