by Cathy
Friends of mine know that if there's one thing I'm known for saying (among many), it's, "Once you become a parent, your dignity goes out the window."
Getting dressed up, acting cool, going out to nice dinners or even having a conversation with another adult with a baby/toddler/child in tow, takes on a whole new meaning. As many of our past blog posts can attest (and there are far too many to recall here, but check out our Embarrassing Moments whine label on the homepage) we have experienced several of our own undignified moments firsthand:
- I have been on all fours in a skirt and heels under restaurant tables retrieving pacifiers.
- I have lunged headfirst into the back seat of our car on expressways with my ass flying as high as our car to pick up dropped snacks/bottles/toys/sippey cups/books or to re-strap my little Houdini back into her carseat.
- I have looped off, around and back on expressway ramps, rummaging through ditches and weeds off the shoulder lane to retrieve one shoe from a newly purchased pair of Crocs that had been slipped out the window by my then-three-year old.
- I have driven miles back to a Walmart and run in crazed and delirious in the hopes of finding the ONE pillow that my child will only sleep with at night, or else the world (my world) would surely veer off its axis.
The other day I happened to capture this video of another mom, deep in conversation with a friend and obviously immune to the acrobatics her breasts were enduring. And I thought this sort of thing only happens to me:
This scene is eerily similar to an incident that happened to me years ago - a moment of undignified parental glory that I shoved deep into the gutters of my mind. It came while I was sitting in an uber-trendy outdoor cafe in Greece one summer. Bella was about two-and-a-half years old. It was late and she was sitting sideways on my lap about to fall asleep. During the spirited conversation with my cousins and friends, she tried repeatedly to get my attention several times with no sign of acknowledgment from me. After many failed, frustrated attempts, she did it: she cupped both of her little hands under each one of my boobs and proceeded to push up on them over and over again like she was raisin' the roof. "Mommy! I have to tell you something!" Up and down my boobs went bobbing for what seemed like an eternity before I grabbed her tiny wrists and swooped them away with lightning speed. Before my strict reprimand could come out of my mouth, something came out of hers; she threw up. Not a lot, but enough to send me shooting up off my chair, unsuccessfully keeping it off my clothes.
Poor thing. That's what she was trying to tell me. But I wouldn't listen.
The whole humiliating experience, from the Boob Bobbing to the vomit, was my fault. This was one undignified moment that could have been avoided - among the thousands that will become a funny, fantastic blur. Lesson learned: I realized that when we have opportunities to avoid these moments, we dang well better take them.
We would love to hear about some of your most undignified moments! Add them to Your Whines on our blog homepage, our Facebook page or as a comment to this post!
