The Mommy Protection Program

by Cathy

I'm not sure who originated the following famous parenting adage, but I often refer to it in my head:

"Kids: You spend the first years of their lives teaching them to walk and talk and the rest, telling them to sit down and shut up."

I often think back to the days when I used to coddle my babies in my arms and coo at them affectionately, speaking slowly in Chipmunks-pitched tones to enable them to connect with what I am saying in the hopes that they will repeat it. Most specifically, the word 'mommy'. Every chance I got, I would get them to try to say any variation of that word: mama, mommy, mom. The reply would always be a babbling 'baba,' which in Greek, means dad.

"Great," I would mumble under my breath. "I did all the work! I carried them in my womb, along with several other pounds worth of fat and blubber that I had to work extra hard to drop - and still working on dropping - and I'M the one that gets up at night to feed them and for the most part, change their diapers, bathe them and do, oh, pretty much everything for them. How could they not say....."Moooooooom!!! Bella won't get off the computer! It's MY turn!"

Now, it seems that my "name" is constantly said; often preceding every single sentence uttered from my kids and often screamed from another room in the context of some sort of sibling rivalry or tattle tale situation. In fact, it's the ONLY name they can say. What happened to baba now? Or dad? Or papi? Even attempting to write out this post this very minute, I have been interrupted with a slew of "Mommies" followed by "Bella did this" or "Ari did that."

Please don't get me wrong - being called Mommy or mama or yes, even mom, is one of the most amazing things in this world. And sometimes, depending on the context and the tone in which its said, can elicit heartfelt tears. But sometimes...you just need a break. After having had your attention gotten seemingly hundreds of times a day with "Mommy" it gets a little...too much. And I'm sure the feeling multiplies with the more kids you have. I've often responded with:

"Am I the only one here?"

"I'm not heeere!"
"Your father is inside - why don't you ask him?"
"Whaaaaattt?!?!??!"
"I'M CHANGING MY NAME!"

Once, I witnessed a friend of mine go to an extreme parenting-avoidance situation. A group of us were enjoying an evening barbeque and bonfire, having some drinks and some laughs as the kids played indoors. This friend actually pretended she was a tree and stood cold still, arms out in branch formation, uttering not a word in the darkening dusk, hoping that her daughter, who was constantly calling out to her from the back deck, would in fact think she was...a tree.

There's a Greek saying that is loosely translated as: "Too much 'Kyrie Eleison' (Lord, have mercy), even God himself gets tired of." So it's only fitting and expected, that at times, we moms too get tired of hearing our "name" over and over again. Does it make me want to change my name and relocate to an undisclosed location at times? Of course. It's only natural and it's okay to admit it as a parent - as a mom. After all, you ARE the go-to person for almost everything and anything when it comes to your kids. And sometimes? That can be too much. But most of the time? You wouldn't want it any other way.