This is Your Life!

by Patti and Cathy


Have you ever wiled the hours away at a mall by simply sitting in one place, watching people go by? And when you do, have you ever found yourself imagining how long that couple has been dating; why that girl looks sad; why that man is in such a hurry?

We do. All the time.

No person, place or thing is safe from our grand delusions assumptions. And those assumptions, in our minds, are completely and totally the way it is.


Patti
When my brother and I were kids, we used to sit on the ledge of the low brick wall that surrounded the park, and simply watch people all day long. The stories we came up with for each person's life were the stuff only movies were made of, but for us, those stories were real.

As I've grown older, that habit of creating lives for others has never died; instead, those stories have only grown grander and richer. As my life gets more complicated, so do the lives of others. It's not uncommon for me to upset myself into believing that the man with the frown is frowning because his wife is dying of cancer, or that woman with bitter face is only bitter because she can't have a baby.

It's not always gloom and doom, though. That couple looks so happy because they just won the lottery! And they are zipping through Costco with glee because they can now buy that trampoline if they want to!

One day, Cathy and I were driving down a very trafficky street on a hot, sticky day, trying to get to the ballet studio on time to pick up our daughters. A honkin' big pick-up truck suddenly appeared next to us, music blaring from the rolled-down windows, horn blaring at us, as if we had done something wrong. The driver, a woman with flying, scraggly hair, screamed obsenities at us, and then promptly gave us the finger. Then she screeched away, but not before we noticed that she had a gaggle of kids in the truck with her.
"What the HELL?" Cathy yelled.
"I KNOW! And she had KIDS in the car!"
"What was WRONG with her? We didn't even DO anything! SHE is the one who cut us off!"
"What a bitch! She must be really angry at the world," I concluded.
"Yeah. She looked really  upset," Cathy agreed.
"She's probably pissed off because her husband left her."
"I know," Cathy said, "and with so many kids, too."
"Yeah. On top of that, he was hitting her!"
"But she probably still loved him."
"Of COURSE she did. She has no self-esteem! I mean, LOOK at her!"
"Riiight? She stopped taking care of herself."
"Yeah, because her husband made her feel worthless!"
"What an asshole."
"I kind of feel sorry for her.
"Me, too. Especially since she's doing drugs."
"Those poor kids."
"I know."

And then, absolutely convinced that this poor woman was broke, drug-addicted, and abandoned - and that her kids were neglected and sad - we both fell silent, and wished her well.

Cathy
You know how in romantic comedies, the couple goes on a date and sits on a ledge of a beautiful street fountain, sharing an ice cream sundae, watching people go by and making up stories about their life? Then they go off on a story tangent and it becomes so unbelievable, that they crack themselves up, nearly falling back into that fountain?

Yeah, well our version of sizing up people's lives isn't quite so Hollywood-like. We are dead serious with our stories, so much so, that they deeply affect us because we SO believe what we are making up about them. We just know that what we create in our heads, these Mini Mind Movies, just have to be the case with these people. We make them out to be martyrs, desolates, schizophrenics, poverty-stricken, ill, wealthy, celebrities, strippers and every other dramatic scenario we can conjure up to justify what we see.

On occasion, I happen to find out the real truth about those people who I've clearly known just in my head - exactly the way I only know them. Then, I am floored. Because as much as I want to believe that what I've made up in my head about someone is really true, because HOW ELSE could it all flow so well together and make such sense given what I'm given to work with? How could there be any other scenario of what their lives are? Oh, but I am pretty much always wrong. And dare I say, it's disappointing.

Almost always, the truth is not nearly as dramatic as what I've envisioned. It's disheartening to find out how boring these people really are. So you know what? I'd prefer to not know the truth, because obviously, I can't handle the truth. We can't all be Jack Nicholson. So I'll stick to listening to the voices in my head because maybe I'm the schizophrenic one. Because, really? That's so much more fun.