Gracias a la Vida

by Patti


Gracias a la vida, que me a dado tanto.
Thank you to life, which has given me so much

One of my favorite songs of all time is sung by the incomparable Mercedes Sosa (may she rest in peace), the Argentina folk singer with a voice like buttah and a delivery that will shoot straight through your heart and up into your brain and down into your feet and back out through your eyes in the form of tears. The song is called "Gracias a la Vida" (Thank You to Life), and if you are so inclined, you can hear the whole thing right here:



It's days like yesterday, the day of my birthday, that this song really hits home for me. I woke up feeling.... blah. A little freaked out at being closer to old for real this time, and a little farther away from youth and its dewy glow and world of promise. This getting old stuff, it ain't for the weak.

There are people like my mom who tell me I'm wasting the precious prime of my life worrying about getting older, or my dear, gorgeous girlfriends who tell me I'm way too obsessed with age, but who are nearly a decade behind me and don't yet get that jittery feeling that comes with the recognition that OHMYGOD it's happening, I'm getting old. But let me tell you, when the truth hits, it's a scary feeling, it truly is.

Even though I felt pouty about GETTING OLD (are you over me yet?), I spent my birthday doing things I wanted to do, like going to the gym and a little shopping, and then spent the evening with my husband, my daughter, my in-laws, and my mom, eating a fun dinner together, polishing off a bottle of Prosecco, and gorging on dessert. I had fun, but there was a hole where my father used to be. It's not the first birthday I've had without him, but somehow, the older I get, the sharper the realization of his death is.

And it was feeling this hole that made me realize it's time for me to cut this crap out. After all, my father? Doesn't get any more birthdays. I'm still here, and, God willing, I still get to wake up and, even though the subtle sagging of my face may send me into the narcissistic doldrums, I still get to decide what to do with my day and how to feel about it. I also get to log onto Facebook and find 100 birthday greetings from friends and family, old and new, near and far; I still get to receive beautiful texts and voicemails, all remembering me on the very day that had me foolishly pitying myself; I still get to eat pizza and drink a bottle of champagne and eat birthday cake; I still get to look around the table and see people that I love, all love me right back; I still get to live.

And in doing so, I have the opportunity every day to say gracias a la vida, que me a dado tanto. Because it's true: Life has given me so much. And for that, I'm thankful.