TWWW's Second Annual Cathy Takes Oscar

by Cathy

"Hey, look! It's Bobby Brady! What's he doing there?"

That was the comment uttered by my husband as the first trumpeted strains of the 85th annual Oscars came across our television screen, opening up to the most beautiful stage set I have ever seen. On that stage, stood Seth McFarland, all dapper and hopeful. And it was Peter Brady (Christopher Knight), not Bobby, my husband and almost everyone else I spoke to, are reminded of when we see Seth.

Before watching Ted, I had no idea who he was. I had to Google him. Then I said, "Is that Peter Brady?"
He looked the part and definitely sounded the part, all those years of voiceover work angling in his favor - and who knew he (and Kristin Chenoweth) could sing like that? However, the opening was ridiculous. Captain Kirk, coming back from the future, giving advice on how to host the Oscars?? What? I found myself searching for the remote several times so that I can fast-forward it but sadly remembered, I was watching it live. The only highlight was watching Charlize and Channing dance. Seth's jokes throughout were a little inappropriate, occasionally funny and downright boring at times. Although his self-deprecating comments certainly helped echo the sentiments of the audience and viewers.

Now on to the real reason we watch the Oscars. The two looks dominating this year were metallics and pastel pales. My choices in each category for best-dressed are:

Naomi Watts. Photo courtesy of Glamour.com

Jennifer Lawrence. Photo courtesy of Glamour.com

Naomi looked as if she was dipped in shimmery, liquid silver and the dress design was uniquely gorgeous with the avant garde cut-out. And JenLa. The quirky, unfiltered personality of this twenty-something kept the pretentiousness of the Oscars in check. She doesn't even attempt to hide her true self - from her practically graceful fall up the stairs to the remark about the standing ovation she received upon getting to the microphone. I absolutely love everything about her. The haute couture Dior fit-to-flare gown was youthful, fun and glam on her. Although I was a little perplexed on the back chain she wore around her neck. Didn't seem like it fit the style of the dress, in my opinion.

Worst dressed:

Anne Hathaway. Photo courtesy of Glamour.com

Oh, Anne. I have a bridesmaid dress just like this one in the back of my closet my closet from about ten years ago. It wasn't made by Prade like yours, but it sure as heck could have been since it looks identical except without the pronounced darts causing you to look like you had nipple hard-ons the entire evening. And the back was not a party, as you say. It was a mish-mosh: criss-crossing, wide, tied ribbons, and back jewelry. There was nothing about this look I liked and it was way too similar to her Golden Globes dress. I would have loved to see her in something more striking and youthful. Wah wahhhh.

Babs, you know we all love you and it's been a while since we've seen you perform on stage. I get your loyalty to Donna Karan and she is a sensibly chic designer, however you were channeling Stevie Nicks out there with your lengthy, flowy sleeves and layers of gold chains. The Hindi slave bracelet was amusing, but not your thing, my dear. Stevie would've rocked it fittingly but classic befits you best.

"I'll be your gypsy..."

FLOTUS: What was Harvey Weinstein thinking when he asked you to infringe upon Hollywood's king, Jack Nicholson, and announce the Best Picture winner standing in a room at the White House with uniformed army officers? It looked as if you were inappropriately disturbed whilst mingling with them to awkwardly present an Oscar and drag a political agenda into a glitzy, fluffy awards show. Sorry, but it didn't fit.Oh, and bit too heavy on the bangs this time, too.

Kristen Stewart. There are no words except that you are dangerously speeding towards Lindsay Lohanville and you best put those brakes on soon. If you busted your toe and were on crutches, why not forgo the stage hobbling and ask the Academy to give you the courtesy of placing yourself at the mic beforehand? You were a skipping mess in lace applique and bruises, channeling a meth addict who just rolled out of her homewrecking bed. Sorry, I'm just not that into you.
Adele - You are a bombshell. I don't care what they say about your choice of supposed matronly dress or lack of stylist. You know what works for your curvy figure and you work with it. We know it's not easy to expose parts of your body you may be self-conscious about and good for you for sticking to what makes you comfortable. Your performance rocked and you were smoldering, sexy and shimmeringly gorgeous throughout it. Thank you for putting some much-needed umph into these dreadfully boring Oscars.

Other highlights for me were the acceptance speeches of Daniel Day Lewis, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lawrence (fall and all); Charlize's pixie 'do looks gorgeous on her; Bradley Cooper's mom showed up in a feather boa and sneakers? Really? And I loved that Ted made an appearance as well. As for Seth, we'll see if he makes one again next year.

Runners up for best dressed were Stacy Keibler:

Art deco metalli-glam

And the metallic monochromatic maven Jessica Chastain:

Runner up for worst dressed:

This looks like three different dresses were moshed up to create this belted number. But wait. This is nothing new for Zoe. She wore the cabbage dress to the Oscars last year. Right.