It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife....

by Patti

This morning I was in the shower, half-asleep, soaped up into oblivion. I swayed slightly under the warm water, once again in complete disbelief that I was now the kind of person who got up when it was still dark outside. Mid-yawn, I rinsed off the soap, reached for the shampoo, and only saw this:

Color me happy, my ass.

Panicked, I quickly looked to another part of the shower rack, and saw this:

Just look at that trio of conditioner, mocking me so

And that is when I remembered with great annoyance that, oh yeah, there is no shampoo. I had just bought some, but S had been complaining that the shampoo she and M use - the one located in the bathroom upstairs (my bathroom is in the basement) - makes her sneeze. So the night before, when I heard her sneezing in the shower, I quickly grabbed my new shampoo and conditioner and took it to her upstairs. "Don't forget to return my shampoo to my bathroom, okay?"

She forgot.

So there I was, shampoo-less. The whole idea of getting out of the shower, all dripping wet and cold, and having to towel off, run upstairs, grab the shampoo, run back downstairs, get BACK in the shower... well, my natural Lazy possessed my body whole right then and there, and I decided to instead raid my "vacation stash" - a collection of travel-sized beauty items - that was under my bathroom vanity. I got out of the shower, soaked, and squatted down, naked as the day I was born, in front of the cabinet, and began my frantic search. Out flew mini deodorants, moisturizers, gels, hairsprays, toothbrush kits (note to self: time to clean out your vacation stash).... and in the end, this is all I could find:

That's right. Nothing but CONDITIONER. I even found a long-forgotten Costco jumbo bottle, its size only serving to further mock my shampoo-less situation.

The shower still running in the background as I sat there in my birthday suit trying to will up shampoo, my bathroom had now turned into a full-fledged sauna. I was desperate and running out of time,and even though there was TWO perfectly good bottles of shampoo a mere flight of stairs away, I grabbed a years-old bottle of this:

I figured the "Protein & Honey" part of the equation might cancel out the "Soap" part, and climbed back into the shower to lather up my hair.

The truth? I am having a seriously good, bouncin' and behavin' hair day.