Latin Pinball Machine

by Cathy

Being married to a Latino, I've done my fair share of salsa dancing. I have to admit that when we met, I hadn't really ventured into cha-cha territory. But when you have the right partner - someone who knows just how to get your rhythm going, your hips swaying and your skirt twirling - whoooo! - vamos a bailar!

To me, all Latin music sounded the same -gasp! - but I quickly found out there are differences. There's salsa, cumbia, merengue, bachata, samba and the country/western-type ranchero music for starters. Dancing moves range from moseying, kicking up your boot heels and letting out a good long howling "aye, aye, ayyyyyeeeee" to the frenetic, wind-up-toy mode.

I admit that I've learned a lot just by watching other Latinos dance. I can sit and watch them for hours - the varying types of dances, how people move together and separately, the expressions on their face.  Every now and then you'll get your Dancing with the Stars couple out there showing everyone else how it's done, but for the most part, it's a bunch of couples out there having fun while shedding all inhibitions.

But what amazes me the most is how truly uninhibited Latin women are. They can don what they feel is the slinkiest mamacita outfit they own, pair it with some caliente heels - or even barefoot if need be - and check all self-consciousness and body images issues at the door; when it comes to dancing, these chicas are doin' it for themselves! It doesn't matter how big or small they are or how old they are, once those beats start beating and trumpets start trumpeting, the electric energy in their tappin' toes shoots up through their bodies and off they go! Bailar! And as a woman, I not only envy their unbridled confidence, but I applaud it.

However, as a "white girl" (i.e. non-Latina) getting caught up in all of this unrestrained liberation on the dance floor can be rough. With all those hips out there on the crowded dance floor, just bumpin' and gyratin' and swingin' and poppin' I feel like a ball in a pinball machine - just getting bounced around from hip to ass to hip to ass. The more I get bounced around, the less I can focus on my quasi-salsa moves.

The crowning point comes when the music gets so fast (and don't ask me which type of dance this is, I just know that there is only one speed - Insanely Fast) that I feel it's humanly impossible to move that quickly. The faster it gets, the more stressed I get that I can't keep up! I thought dancing was supposed to be fun! Why do I feel so stressed?? I'm moving so fast I feel like my legs will break off at the hips as I dislocate them from the sockets. 'Who invented this?' I think to myself as I watch everyone else jiggle and wiggle to keep up. What sadistic lunatic sat there and said, "Let's see how fast we can play these instruments and let's see how fast they can dance without falling over!" It's like watching a video being fast-forwarded, but only in real time!

Is this really dancing? If so, this isn't for me, hombre. I'll sit my "white" ass out on this one, sip on my tequila, enjoy la musica, and admire the people who do it best. Ole!