Eavesdropped: Liberty vs. Religion

by Cathy

The other day in our garage, Ari decided to share what she learned in school that day.

Now normally, when I specifically ask her:
"How was school?"
I get a generic "Goooood."
And to, "What did you do today? Anything exciting or fun?"
I'll get another generic, "We sang songs, did art and played outside."
This was a lot of information compared to the response I usually get from Bella, which is usually a flat, "Nothing."

As I was unloading the mounds of Target bags from the trunk, the two of them were goofing around with their bicycles on our driveway. Out of the blue, Ari starts:

"I pledge allegiant, to the father, of the United States of America..."
She kept going, but Bella and I were still stuck on that first sentence. We looked at each other and smiled as I whispered, "Awww, how cute. She has religion and liberty all mixed up."
We respectfully let her finish the pledge and I gave her big high-fives on learning to recite it - I mean, it's a lot of difficult, big, unknown words all strung together for a little five-year old to memorize.

Bella saw that I was still chuckling under my breath so she leaned in and said rather matter-of-factly:

"Well, if you think about it, she's right. She's pledging allegiance to Obama."

And I'll be darned if that doesn't make sense.

How Many Husbands Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

by Cathy


I love my husband. (Most of the time :) He's got a lot of great attributes. But let's call a spade, a spade. A handyman, he is not.

Now, if he's forced to assemble something or has the patience to fiddle around with it long enough until he fixes it, he'll try it, but only at my urging or insistence. I mean, he won't bother to take out the trash unless I threaten to dump the bin next to his side of the bed while he sleeps or I block our back door with the stenchy bag so he can't get out.

However, he's become quite comfortable with the fact that I love handywork and the challenge it provides me. I am usually the one taking on the big (painting practically my whole house) and little (hanging shelves) home improvement/assembling projects in the house. Maybe that was my first mistake. My second mistake was taking him to Greece where he claims he saw women there doing everything from plucking potatoes in the fields to nailing down shingles on the rooftops.

Last week, I was changing a light bulb in our bedroom. I was turning it both ways and it didn't seem like anything was happening. Before I knew it, I was holding just the bulb, while the metal screw-in part was still stuck in the light fixture. So I left the ladder, the glass light fixture cover and the new bulb sitting in our room in the hopes that Joe will tackle it.
Ha.
No, really, I left it there because I read somewhere that you can use a potato to help unscrew that part of a light bulb out. And I didn't have time to add potato peeling to my list of to-do's at that moment, so I left it.

Of course, the day got too hectic and by bedtime, I was too exhausted. Joe informed me matter-of-factly that he was putting the ladder in the hallway. He swiftly moved it (he's quick with that kind of stuff) along with the bulb and fixture glass, and plopped in bed, leaving our light fixture, with its rusty clawed wires, jagged glass, and cracked plaster looking like a prop straight out of Boyz n the Hood.

Here we are almost two weeks later and it still sits that way, and will most definitely sit that way until I get to it. Of course, I don't expect him to knowingly start peeling potatoes to unscrew out the bulb butt, but perhaps he can help out and at least go pluck them from the fields.

It's only fair if I'm gonna be the one re-roofing our house.

Mani - Patti

by Cathy

I finally got a chance to experience the latest craze in nail polish: the shattered look. Have you heard of it? You apply one coat of whichever nail polish color you choose and then apply a second coat of contrasting "Shatter" color to give your nails the following look:

So my daughter and I were excited to show Patti and her daughter, S, during our abrupt visit to their house yesterday. After Patti sees my new manicure, she says: "That's what my nails look like most of the time anyway!"

That reminds me of another nail polish story with her: It was Halloween and she wanted to polish her nails black but didn't want to spend a fortune on the polish since it would be only for fun. So she bought a discounted polish for .99 cents. When she showed me the end result, I was amazed at how vibrant the color was. "That looks awesome," I told her. "Not at all cheapy looking."
Her reply: "Are you kidding? I have like a thousand coats of this stuff on. Ninety-nine coats for .99 cents!!!"

That's Patti; and I love her for always keeping it REAL!!!