by Patti
Re-posting an old favorite by request.
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| I'm being pelted by treats falling from the sky. It's not my fault. |
It’s the Most! Wonderful! Time! Of the year! You know, that time when treats magically fall
out of the sky and land in your mouth, over and over again?
Especially if you work in an office
environment, like I do. Suddenly people put on their Baker Extraordinaire hats
and they are shoving brownies and snowman cookies and red and green sprinkled
sugar bars down your throat. And you just sit there and take it like a man. A
fat man.
Oh, no?
Well, THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN DOING.
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| They look innocent, but are evil, evil, evil. |
This whole month of December has been an exercise in, well, not much exercise and WAAAAY
too many chocolate reindeer balls. What is it about December that leads me to believe that it is okay to shove 13
cookies in my craw and that there won’t be any consequences as a result? I mean, it’s as if I am sugar-shocked into thinking that December Calories aren’t real.
But by the end of December, when I am slowly exiting my sugar fog and find I can’t zip up
my pants, I realize: Ohhhh, they
were real. And then I frantically make New Year’s Resolutions that include the gym and fat-free cottage cheese for the rest of ever.
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| Stop. The. Madness. |
So today, right now, as I type this, I am swearing up and down that that 3
rd Styrofoam
cup of cheese/caramel/regular popcorn I just ate as a “tide me over ‘til lunch” snack will be the last. I WILL NOT EAT ANYMORE POPCORN FROM FESTIVALLY DECORATED TINS. I will also forego reindeer- shaped anything, and sparkly,
sprinkly, sugary stuff that pretends to be snowmen, and Christmas tree brownies with adorable mini M&M’s as ornaments, and marshmallow-stuffed bars of gooey heaven, and pretty much anything that isn’t grown from the ground or a tree.
And I swear I’ll do it as SOON as December ends.
