Building a New Chicago, All At Once

by Cathy

God created the world in one week.  Seven days.
How long is it taking to beautify, renew and repave the streets of Chicago? Infinity.

Yes, I realize that we are not God and simply cannot will something to be done and thus so it shall be done.  It's just that our city? It has already been built - not once, but twice, thanks to Mrs. O' Leary's cow.

Chicagoans have a saying: There are two seasons in Chicago - winter and construction. Chicago streets, just like the cars that ride them, must be maintained more often than not, simply due to the fact that the temperature here fluctuates in digits ranging from the arctic to the Sahara. That can take a toll on any infrastructure. Then there's the salt that is thrown by the truckload every winter. Then there's the expected wear and tear asphalt takes when accommodating tons of weight. So I completely understand the fact that our streets need upkeep.

But why, oh why, must all the beautifying, repaving and renewing need to happen AT THE SAME TIME and on every street I need to take in the city? Lake Shore Drive? Check. All main streets and side streets leading to, from, in and around my kids' school? Check. Peterson Avenue, the main thoroughfare connecting the 90/94 Edens with LSD and the main avenue leading to my place of work? Check. Virtually every road I turn down, I am greeted with this:

Greetings and welcome to driving hell

As if this sign, dutifully, rationally yet mockingly, explaining the purpose for all of this traffic havoc, is supposed to nip our road rage in the bud before it blooms into hysteria. As if this is supposed to make us understand; to make it all better. Ohhhhhhh, well they are building a new Chicago; on every road and expressway at the same time. Ahhhhh, well that makes sense. I'll just sit in yet more traffic here while I belly breathe to keep from losing my mind and eventually have to pee in my purse. Once you've passed the sign that signals the imminent driving hell awaiting you up ahead, you plunge headfirst into traffic purgatory, in the form of an endless sea of red brake lights and virtual parking lots on the streets.

Construction junction, what's your function?!?

I now have to allow as much time to get from point A to point B in the city as the suburbanites do coming from outside the city limits. Does that make sense? And all of this construction suddenly sprung up after three summer months of Chicagoans being on vacation, out of school and off the streets for the most part - just in time for back to school. Does that makes sense? What, praytell, were they doing all summer? Perhaps they were on the same schedule as CPS teachers.

This is Chicago, the city with the highest sales tax in the country; the city of mobsters and gangsters; the city of corrupt politicians. (Note: I am not implying anything here about our current administration.) But we are also a city of genuine, hardworking Midwesterners with places to go and people to see. We just want to get to those places without drowning in orange traffic cones and bombarded by barricades.

Rome wasn't built in a day, but it is known that all roads lead to Rome. Right? So at this rate, we'd sure as hell better be able to drive to Rome once all of this repaving is done...and started again.