Red Friday

by Patti

Friday I circled a mall parking lot for 40 minutes. And then I gave up and went home.

I was only there because S is in the Nutcracker again this year, and we went to support those in the cast that were doing a Black Friday sneak preview. After a scouting of the lot with no luck, and eager to not miss the 11 am showing, I dumped S at the door so she could run inside and find Cathy and Mich - whose girls were among those slated to perform - while I continued my search for parking.

But I never found parking. Instead, I got yelled at, honked at, flipped off at, sneered at, arms-up-in-air'd at...... The bloodied, beat-up man slumped into a bench at the mall entrance as paramedics tended to his war wounds didn't even surprise me. What was he thinking, trying to grab that parking space when CLEARLY IT WAS MEANT FOR THE OTHER GUY. For every spot that miraculously opened up, there were at least 20 cars waiting. How anybody knew whose "turn" it was to park was an operation of epic intelligence. And, after a night of wine and too many potatoes au gratin, I wasn't in any mood to think. ABOUT PARKING.

Apparently, the performance was running ahead of schedule, and Cathy, with whom, along with our girls, I had planned to spend some time on Black Friday since we would all be at the mall, decided to bolt as soon as it ended. Since they were leaving, there was no reason for me to continue my manic parking lot tour, and I decided to abort Operation There is No Damned Place to Park! I called S and had her meet me outside again, and out she came, donned in her carefully chosen "mall outfit" and an expression of such letdown I wanted to cry. She was so disappointed there'd be no Black Friday experience, but I made it up to her in the form of an overpriced Caramel Apple Spice from Starbucks and a promise to visit the capital of Smells like Tween Spirit, Claire's, the next day.
"But can't we go today?"
"Honey, there is NO. WAY. I am entering any store today. I mean... LOOK!" I gestured to the madness around me, making sure she didn't miss the beat-up man in the blood spattered shirt.

So, after three near-collisions in the parking lot, we headed to the serene Starbucks, where a jazzy version of Silver Bells soothed us as we sipped our steaming latte and apple concoctions. Just outside and across the street was a Best Buy. Upon imagining the bloodshed no doubt occurring inside at that very moment over deeply discounted flat screen televisions and tricked out laptops, I shuddered. I then sunk more deeply into my chair, humming along to the chorus.