by Cathy
Today, Bella, my 11-year old, will return from her first solo away-trip - a school excursion to Lake Geneva, WI., a trip the school has aptly named, "Ropes Course", a program involving a variety of activities designed to provide both individual challenges and opportunities for group cooperative problem solving.
The trip is a tradition and a rite of passage for all the sixth graders at her school, not only to prepare them for how to handle the obstacles they will face in life, but also to prepare them for life's bigger picture as well - taking baby steps away from the comfort of their family/home and towards new experiences.
Undoubtedly, I had my doubts. The sheltering motherly side of me immediately reared itself upon receiving news of this trip. I immediately emailed the teacher and asked if parent chaperones were allowed (and also because I knew this was going to be the first question out of Bella's mouth.)
The teacher's reply? "No. You are off the hook!!!"
As if this was supposed to be some inconvenience that we don't need to be bothered with. As if we don't have time for this and we are free to go off and do the countless trivial things on our to-do list, made to seem much more important than this.
The night before the trip, she was mixed bag of emotions while packing - excitement peppered with bouts of sadness, nervousness and anxiety. Sad because she will miss us; nervous because she doesn't know what to expect; anxious because what if she can't handle taking an exercise challenge in front of her friends? She is not a fan of being away from us and would much rather prefer the
safety and comfort of her own bed. She rarely ever partakes in
sleepovers, much less take an overnight trip in another state without the comfort of having a family member accompany her. This was her first big "grow-up" moment.
I quelled her feelings by telling her that it was completely normal to feel all of these emotions and that the anticipation of thinking you will miss your family is much greater at this point than what she will experience. But that she will see, if she lets herself fall into the moments, the experiences, the fun and the challenges, those will take precedence over her thoughts of missing us.
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| There goes my 'lil girl, tentative feelings packed neatly in with her belongings. |
So then it all made sense. The teacher was trying to let me down easy; to spin this experience in a positive way, which it really is. Once I forced my brain to switch gears and try to see it from his point of view, I understood that not only was it important to her growth and development to do this by herself but also for mine. It was a "Ropes Course" for both of us - a lesson on learning how to cut the ropes that tether us to our children. And even though that rope is tightly knotted in the case of my first-born, we are both slowly working together on loosening it while still holding on.
